Star wars episode i the phantom menace 1999
- Star wars episode i the phantom menace 1999 movie#
- Star wars episode i the phantom menace 1999 full#
The good guys wear white and the bad guys wear black and everything proceeds to get more obvious from there.
Star wars episode i the phantom menace 1999 full#
Star Wars is set in a blunt world full of Manichean representations. One of those is vastly more appropriate for a kids' movie, and not just because I inserted a swear. The taxation of mother fucking trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute." "Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire." The difference is that the prequels are bad at being kids' movies. These are kids' movies, fine, and so was the original trilogy. When certain misguided people try to get all sober-faced and defend the prequels, one of the things that they will often pull out is "these are kids' movies, after all, and the original trilogy was too, so get off your high horse". The prequels are, as a unit, predicated on the tedious minutiae of republican bureaucracy, and how one craven senator was able to manipulate the rules of procedure to secure the power of a tyrant for himself. The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute." We can go on about all the problems plaguing the prequels in terms of dialogue and unnecessarily gigantic plot holes and hideous racist caricatures in the form of CGI frog-men, but really, it needn't go any deeper than this.
Star wars episode i the phantom menace 1999 movie#
It's hard to forget the summer of 1999, when the film entered theaters on the heels of quite probably the most hype that any movie had enjoyed since Gone with the Wind 60 years earlier, and having the profoundly deflating experience of that opening title crawl: "Turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic. I mean, Christ knows there's no defending the movie on the level of storytelling! For it is a truly, deeply batshit insane movie on that count.
It's just that none of this value comes from plot, character, or capacity to provide entertainment. But "some" sure is better than "childhood-raping nothingness", and no matter how much is patently going wrong dramaturgically with George Lucas's 22-years-later return to directing and solo screenwriting, Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace, it is not remotely devoid of value.
What is there that we can say that's nice about the first of the prequels? A lot, actually. But that's easy and obvious, and with everybody on the internet having by now encountered the Red Letter Media reviews, it's also unnecessary. I come to bury the Star Wars prequels, really I do. This review is based on the extended cut available on the initial DVD release of the film, 3 minutes longer than the original theatrical cut and lacking some CGI embellishments made to the later home video editions.